THE CRAZY BUNCH
The Thursday before Labor Day, we drove my new Town Car, which I named, Goldie Han, to New Orleans. It was Gary that did the driving with Lewis sitting in the front and Ernie, Joe and I sitting in the back. The big car actually carried all of us comfortably and the giant trunk swallowed our luggages. My childhood friend, Katrina and her brother, Aylwin, left Houston on Friday. My friend Chito flew out of Houston on Friday also.
Hurricane Gustav
Half of my friends cancelled their trip to New Orleans due to Hurricane Gustav. I can’t blame them since they were all sane and us “Crazy Ones” went to New Orleans anyway.
Thursday night and Friday night were eerily quiet. Most businesses were closed and the famous Cafe Du Monde was nearly empty.
Gary, Katrina, Aylwin and I saw the female impersonator show, Glitz, at Harrah’s New Orleans Auditorium and it was wonderful. The beautiful and funny Bianca del Rio emceeded the show with a handful of wonderful performers playing tribute to stars including Dolly Parton, Cher, Dionne Warwick and Tina Turner.
After the show, the four of us wandered into the French Quarter for a night of drinking and partying. It was only appropriate that we took Katrina to Pat O’Brien’s for a hurricane drink. The host packed our hurricane glasses in it’s own box for us to take home. The other four boys bar hopped until the wee hour. I don’t know how in the world Lewis could do all of that while carrying a gallon jug of water. That jug of water saw more action than I did.
Most of us got evacuation order to leave by 11 AM Saturday morning so we were out to party like there was no tomorrow. While the rest of the city was like a ghost town, the French Quarter was packed with partygoers. Every bar whether gay or straight was crowded and some had line that stretched a block.
The drive home was uneventful until we arrived to Texas. It seemed that FEMA failed to tell Texas that there were people heading toward the big state and THEREFORE TEXAS SHOULD HAVE removed all construction barriers. We were averaging about 70 miles per hour until crossed into Texas and came to a screeching halt several times between Orange and Houston.
THE TROUBLE WITH IKE
On Thursday, September 11, Gary and I packed the car and sped out of town escaping Hurricane Ike. Once we got on Interstate 10 we noticed that all the exits off the freeway were blocked. Officials did not want people to return to the coastal towns along the I 10 corridor. Lucky for us, we filled my car with gas and had enough juice to drive all the way to New Orleans. The hurricane was a big and dangerous one. I don’t know how some of those smaller cars made its since the wind along I 10 from Houston all the way to New Orleans was about 48 MPH. This was Thursday, more than 30 hours before the hurricane’s arrival to Galveston.
Harrah’s Casino put us in the Windsor Court. Not only did we get to hang out in a five star hotel, we did it in one of their suite. There was enough room for 8 people. It was too bad that my family and friends did not come with us.
After hearing (via text messaging) from my family and friends that they escaped the hurricane unharmed (my friend Chito’s house in Galveston did suffered 4 feet of water, but the bed and breakfast that he and his partner own, escaped dammage), I was able to relaxed that weekend until I made a giant boo boo mistake that caused Gary to ignored me for two full days.
THESE BOOTS ARE NOT MADE FOR WALKING
On Sunday, Harrah’s Casino had a promotion where I put a slip of paper,that had my name on it, into this big metal spinning contraption along with about 10,000 other names. Starting at 2 PM and ending at 7 PM, two names were called every hour for a chance to win $100,000. The consulation prize consited of two gift baskets, several $1,000 winners, a $10,000 winner and of course, the $100,000 winner. WELL, WHO IN THE WORLD would expect that out of about 10,000 people, my name would be called. I was relaxing in the hotel across the street when Gary called me from the casino floor to tell me that my name was called and I had five minutes to qualified. IT WAS THE DARN pair of suede boots that I just had to buy and wear that did me in. It took forever for me to put it on and when I made it to the claim area, I was 30 second late and an alternate was called. It was only fitting that my alternate was also a Vietnamese man and that he ended up with a gift basket. I SWEAR I will never put my name into any drawing from now on. I still love my boots though.
VEGAS WITHOUT CHER
After seven days without power and seven more days of looking at my fallen wood fence, I headed out to Vegas with my mother, Gary and two friends, Albert & Gary W. Albert and Gary W. had suffered two weeks of having no power in their house and they were glad to go to Vegas. This trip was planned back in July and we all had tickets to see Cher. Unfortunately for all of us, Chere cancelled all her concert dates for the rest of the year starting with our show. It was said that her vocal chords was not used to the desert environment. As I see it, she looks 25, but her inside is in the mid 60s and that there was no way she was going to dance up a storm like Celine did on the same stage. She need to learn from Tina and Bette who are in her age category and are still going strong.
We met two friends (friends of Albert and Gary W.) from Washington D.C. and despite the lack of Cher, we all had a good time playing the slots at Paris, Las Vegas.
HALLOWEEN 25
Halloween New Orleans is an annual fundraiser event benefitting the Lazarus House, a home for women and men with HIV/AIDS. Gary and I attended this function twice in the last four year and this year was our third time. My friends, Noel & David T, of the famous train ride article, had to cancelled their trip with us due to family’s obligation. Gary and I took Lewis and Joe with us and we had a grand time at this 25th year anniversay party. The $75 donation fee was worth every penny.
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
I left Gary in charge of getting us to the function on Saturday the 24th and we ended up in an empty alley between the New Orleans Arena and the Superdome. The event was held at the New Orleans Arena in 2006 but changed venue to a place named the Sugar Mill. We had to walk 8 blocks back to our Hilton hotel in full costume and take a cab to the Sugar Mills locating a mere three blocks from our hotel on Convention Blvd.
THE HORSES WILD
Gary dressed up as a “trailer park/white trash/mother-in-law” . The outrageous costume was accented by a pair of very big behind, size DD boobs and a head full of hair rollers. A young man passed by us later on during the night and said ” the girl has to eat” as he saw Gary’s mother-in-law behind. I dressed Joe up as a “gay pimp daddy”. Lewis and I were the two ” China Men”. All of us had bby horses to match up with our costumes. Gary’s hobby hourse was dolled up with hair rollers while Joe’s horse was draped in a feather boa; Lewis and my horses had matching Chinese hats. We looked nice, but we were nothing compared to the many outrageous and elaborate costumes that many of the attendees showed up in. MORE PICTURES AT THE END OF ARTICLE
THE DC COWBOYS & NA LEI HULU I KA WEIKIU
The midnight show performances by the DC Cowboys (America’s Got Talent) and Na Lei Hulu I Ka Weikiu at this year Halloween New Orleans was one of the most entertaining show I had ever seen. The show opened with a tribute to past themes and my favorite segment was when the top part of the stage was erected to pay tribute to the 2002 theme of Mythos. What looked like beautiful nude statutes were actually real men and women. There were drag performers, giant fake elephants (tribute to past theme Circus Eroticus) , a dozen shirtless cowboys and a young man in a cake dress. BUT ALL EYES were on Na Lei Hulu I Ka Wekiu, a San Francisco based dance company (http://www.naleihulu.org/) that is also a non profit organization. The forty plus dancers brought the house down with an incredible performance that really left me in a very happy place. It is one thing to see a wonderful Hawaiian dance, but to see tradional dancers moving to a very non traditional dance song is something else. It was magical.
BEND AND SNAP
We decided to leave the party at 2:30 AM to head out to Bourbon Street and as we were walking out of the Sugar Mill, a lady grabbed Gary and me and had the photographer for the Times Picayune take a picture of us. As I stood next to the lady, I realized that it was the famous actress from American Pie (Stiffler’s mother) and Legally Blonde (bend and snap), Jennifer Coolige. We had our 15 minutes of fame.
MY FRIEND JUDY
We all came back to our room at 5:30 AM Sunday morning after a fabulous breakfast at the Clover Grill! All of us passed out and slept until 5 PM. At 9:00 PM, we caught a wonderful show at Harrahs’ Casino. It was the famous Jim Bailey performing as Judy Garland. THERE IS NO LYP SYNCHING here. Jim Bailey looks and sing like Judy Garland. A live band accompanied Mr. Bailey and he made us feel that Judy was still alive! If you have a chance to see this touring show, please do so.
Gary and my connection to Judy Garland did not end with the concert. We went and put money into the penny slot machine, The Wizard of Oz. Gary won a combined total of $1,000 in a period of two days playing on the Wizard of Oz machines. $500 was won on Saturday and after losing it back to the casino, Gary won another $500 with his last $5 bill on the Wizard of Oz machine. YES, we drove home with the money tucked in Gary’s wallet.
We have a very crazy schedule in November. I will write about our upcoming trip to see Kathy Griffin, Sarah Brightman, King Tut and the soon to be a virgin again, the gay icon supreme, MADONNA.
Thank you for reading.
Carl Han
